If my woman was a fire, she'd burn out before I wake, and be replaced by pints of whiskey, cigarettes, and outer space.
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Today I met up with my friend Victoria to go around Silverlake in search of Sarah Gadon (lol). We ended up at a coffee shop, around the reservoir, walked through the library, then went to Los Feliz and ended up in Public House (my favorite bar). We just ate a shit ton of food and downed some drinks and my friend Jillian came to meet with us. Today was fun, but the weather was so weird, it was boiling hot then around 6pm all the sudden it was kinda foggy and cold. LA, I don't understand yet. I still need to buy an AirCon. I got a new camera! The Canon EOS Rebel t5. It's a magnificent creature and I am going to be using it for my web series as well. I got a cool microphone to record professional sound quality. So yay. Things are coming together. We have a few ideas in the works, it's just a matter of finding time. I will be signing up for classes soon too. I am going to do some writing classes at UCLA and stand up things. Might as well perfect the craft :) I am leaving for Florida in a week. I will be there to watch Cassie graduate and then off the grid for a bit in New Orleans with Luke and then off to Bonnaroo in TN. It's gonna be a hell of a week on the road / at the festival. It's going to be very nice to get out of LA though. I waited on buying the car until I return so I can hold off on payments and shit. I have some interviews coming up to be a copywriter and a marketing slash content associate. SO that is VERY exciting. It would be the dream to be getting paid to do what I love most. Updates 4 lyfe! Ok. Things have been so wild lately. I met a girl from Perth, Australia and hung out with her for a few days in LA before she flew back. I never realized how many people in other countries want to be here, while simultaneously hating Americans. wut? I bought a ticket to Europe on a whim and will be there for three weeks from October to November. My two best friends (yes, Shay and Luke), are coming with me. We don't really have much of a plan and the entire trip was planned in like a minute. This is how it happened: *me searching for tickets to LAX from Nashville* hmm I wonder how much tickets to Europe are *dug around Google flights and saw cheap Euro flights* *texts Shay: Hey, I found a round-trip flight to London for 500 bucks. Shay: Let's get them. Right now. Me: Ok So we bought them. But now we have a ton of ideas on what we will be doing and its so exciting and I have never been out of the country so wow. wowowowow. Good stuff. So that camera and equipment I've been talking about I was finally able to purchase. I got the h4 zoom mic and a Canon Rebel camera. Now I can finally make my web series and what not. phew. I am feeling happy in LA. Things are good, and I've made some new friends who I enjoy being around a ton. It's the little things that matter to me most, because they keep me sane. I will be flying to Tampa in two weeks and can't WAITTTT to see my family and my dog and also get into a swimming pool because hello, WAAATTERRR!! (and LA is hot as hell most of the time). It's interesting to read previous posts and see things manifest. I submitted more work to xojane. and have been brainstorming fun project ideas with different groups of friends. I am excited to share future work with you all. :) On top of that. I asked a cute girl on a date and she said yes. So that was exciting. I almost wasn't used to it because now a days you just meet with people off Tinder and it starts as a date before you even get to know them. But this time things were different, and I like that, and I think that's how it should be. Updates to come soon! If you don't say what you want, you wont ever get it. And I mean that. Sometimes we aren't sure, and I get it. But there reaches a point where you have to make a decision and you can't sit in limbo any longer with it. Don't play games. Don't be coy. Don't be jealous. Just speak your mind. Do you want it? Speak up. Whether or not it's a person, a job, that sandwich that's been sitting in the fridge. Just be honest Because eventually the position gets filled. Eventually, the sandwich goes bad. And eventually.. that person moves on. Your life. Your risks. And your losses. Choose them wisely. Well. I had an article published in Thought Catalog.. so that was very very exciting. I just kind of submitted it blindly, so it was a nice surprise to see it had been accepted. It always feels so good to get those acceptance letters, because for every acceptance, there is triple the rejections. (you can read the article here) I can't thank my friends enough for all their wonderful support. :) This week has been crazy..and so has last week. I work 50-60 hours a week and sleep maybe 20-25 hours a week. My commute is 1-2 hours there in the morning and usually 2 on the way home. It's completely exhausting. But the good news is I am buying a car this week! So hopefully it wont be so bad. I am doing stand up tomorrow night in Culver City with a new comedic friend of mine. We have already come up with a few good skit ideas so I am very very excited to produce content to share with you all. (yes, all funny stuff) When I address "you all", does anyone even read this f*ckin thing. srsly. Yesterday was a rough day. An alley cat Terral (my roommate) feeds and lets hang in our apartment from time to time got hurt. We aren't sure how, whether or not she was hit by a car, or a cat fight, or a person kicked / hurt her, but we let her in our apartment a few days back for her to heal. When I got home from work last night I hung out with a friend for a bit and when I walked her out, Terral told me he thought she was dying..so I asked why. Well, it turns out when he awoke, Sophie (yes, the cat), was throwing up everywhere, so he went to put her outside. Once he sat her down, he realized she couldn't use her back legs. She was completely paralyzed from the waist down. She had been laying in Terral's closet so I went and took a look. She was meowing and looked terrified. She looked like she was in a lot of pain. She couldn't move very well... It was awful. I searched everywhere for a hospital that would take her, explaining that she wasn't necessarily ours, but she had no owners and she was in severe pain. I drove us to an animal hospital up the road where we basically had to argue with them to assess her. All we wanted to know was if she would live until morning so we could take her to the SPCA to give her a chance at living. The assessment didn't go well. It was unusual that a cat would lost feeling in their back legs, they were cold which signified loss of circulation. Sophie would never walk again. As we were waiting the cat began to scream with pain. She flailed around trying to get out of the box, confused as to why her legs didn't work and what was happening. She was vomiting and twisting her head around a lot. I have never witnessed anything like it. I have never heard an animal in so much pain. Terral and I immediately began to cry. (well, i teared up). After discussion we both knew the right thing to do was to put her down so she could rest easy. She was older, and her prognosis wasn't good. Even if the SPCA could save her life, what would she do without her back legs? who would adopt her? would she even survive? She would be locked in a cage for the rest of her life and it didn't feel right. Terral made the final call, and we pet her, as Sophie gave in and laid down, staring at us as if she knew what was to come. We said our goodbyes, and drove home. Death will always affect you. Even if it is not a human, and instead a cat. She knew she was dying, and she was terrified. Very unnerving night all around, although me and Terral agreed she would possibly be reincarnated as a rich kitty- living the life of luxury with a rich family who spoiled her this time around, and not just a poor alley cat. Anyways, some updates won't always be funny, but they will be real. Okay, I've finally decided after being in LA for a month, the one celeb I want to find and take photos with and talk about life and be best friends, is Kaitlin Olson. I have watched It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia non stop the last three weeks. I went from season 1- season 7. SHE HAS THE BEST SCENES. Me and Luke have been playing a lot of Call of Duty with the headset and over it we will sing "tiny boy, little boy, baby boy, I want to make love to you". If you don't know where that is from then..get out. Xtina came to LA this past weekend but I only saw her on Saturday because LA is actually a million miles wide and long. It's nice having friends from SF visit, but it always makes me a bit sad because then I remember I don't have friends quite like them, and how sad it is to be so far now, when I was only blocks away a month ago. I've been writing more material though. I want to record stand up soon as per all your requests so I can post it. The internet is the woooorst critic though. Also I fell asleep sitting up in my Lyft tonight, woooops. This Asian dude was laughing at me when I woke up. I think I twitch a lot in my sleep. I am buying a car in a few weeks and planning to drive back up to SF at the end of June for pride. Oh ya and mid June me and some buds are also going to go to Yosemite. MY FIRST TIME. I SO EXCITED. LA is weird. Sometimes it's hot, and sometimes it's cold, and why is it cold? Isn't this LA? what is going on. But when it's hot, it's verrrry hot. No apartments have AC around here. IT JUST BOILS ALL THE TIME INSIDE YOUR OWN HOUSE. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE Not to mention everyone in LA is flakey as fuck. You can make plans for every day of the week and like, 1 in 7 plans will actually work out. Everyone's working on their own hustle and journey and whatever else that there really is no time for anything else. and that's not even the worst part. NO ONE DRINKS LIKE SF PPL DO. In SF my drinking habits were considered squarish. Here I am a damn alcoholic. No one here will drink. Example: San Francisco: int. of small dive bar. Tuesday night. Me: Let's get a drink Friend: yeah! 6 hours later BOTH COMPLETELY SMASHED AND ITS 2 AM AND WE ARE HAVING THE TIME OF OUR LIVES Los Angeles: Me: Lets drink Them: It's Tuesday Me: Them: Me: Them: Fast forward to Friday Me: Let's drink!! Them: Maybe later 4 hours later I AM THE ONLY ONE SMASHED Also..Drake and Beyonce are all anyone is talking about the last two weeks. Does any other music exist right now? for fucks sake. I'll keep you posted on any success that may come ma way. I have a few sketch ideas in mind and I've been drawing a lot more lately. Life is productive. Ok I haven't written in here in a few days (totally breaking promises to myself here) I started a new job at a start up in Marina Del Rey. I'm doing Ops type work there and I love it so far. The people are great and there is tons to be done to their department. I decided to take a job in the operations field since I could save up money to buy equipment I need for a web series I am creating with two other people and to fund classes I want to take in comedy. If I took a PA job at this point in time, I wouldn't have the money or time to work on other projects, thus not having material to show others.. Now I have the time to work on my pilot show as well as a web series, comedy classes, and do stand up twice a week. (twice a week is the goal). I did stand up last week, and was supposed to go Tuesday of this week with someone I met in a Lyft (yes seriously), but I was sick (lame). But the good news is, being sick means I can just watch a ton of Family Guy. I have seen every episode 30+ times. It has been on repeat on my TV for the last 3.5 years, and if you think I am joking you can ask my past roommates. Jon asked me once if I just kept the theme song playing on a loop. LA is growing on me a bit. Luke was in town yesterday so I got to see him very briefly. It made me miss SF a lot more, but I'm trying to stay positive. Work is good. My writing is going well. Stand up is nice, however I am working on better material. I like that I can wear shorts. I just miss my friends in the North Bay, but I know they are moving forward, and I should too. My little sister graduates in June (June 01 actually) So I will be going to Tampa for 3 days or so before driving to New Orleans to party, and then TN for Bonnaroo. I got her a ticket for her graduation gift, and Luke is comin with us. I hate flying however, so that is the only downfall. I'm planning to buy a guitar to finally learn it. I've been saying I want to learn for like, ten years now, and it's time. Ok, I have been dying to hit play on Family Guy for the last hour so I am going to go do that. Oh, but before I go, I submitted some work to be published on Thought Catalog, so I am really hoping that goes over well. But I'll keep the blog up to date :) Ok. I just got home from a night of drinks and dancing at the abbey. It wasn't that great. There were a lot of straight couples and gay men. Lesbians were scarce. I met a sexist man who told me that he goes there to pick up chicks since it is ladies night and lesbians aren't TRULY lesbians. I wanted to punch him. I might be a bit intoxicated but that's ok. Next weekend I am going camping with my BEST friends and I can't wait. I can't wait to see them and squeeze them and be with them. LA has been so hard. But so rewarding. I just can't wait to see them again and camp and hike and play instruments and do the things we usually do. (drink..play music..be silly). I decided to accept a job as an operations associate so I can have money to support my hobbies. I start Monday. This way I can buy a nice camera and microphone and fund my projects for the web series as well as all my stand up work and comedy classes. It's a good thing right now instead of doing PA work. Trust me. I can have more time to learn and grow and work on all my materials. Life is still confusing, but that is normal right? How do we know what is right for us and what isn't? I trust the voice inside myself, but sometimes it conflicts with what I feel vs what logic has to say. Ya know? What i'm trying to say is, things aren't easy right now, but they aren't bad. I know things will work out in the end, and I have so many creative things going for me right now. I will have to share some of the pilot I am writing, as well as some web series ideas. Of course you will see the published pieces, but ya know. It's all a work in progress. For now I am doing what is best, and what will provide the biggest payoff. I am trying to focus on myself and my goals, but can't help but feel a bit distracted by a certain someone. Things won't really ever be the way I WANT them to in the moment. I think they happen as they are supposed to and I am learning to accept that. Not that it's easy.. but I am learning. Updates to come. :) So I did stand up last night at Tao Comedy Studio. Ellyse and I got there late, so we went pretty late in the night. But the good news is I wasn't black out drunk this time, so I actually did a set that wasn't the same joke twice mixed with a feminist rant. I realized a lot of female comedians talk about their dating life or how they are painfully single. Why is that comedic anymore. I guess I don't see anything wrong with being single and independent? Lots of I'm going to die alone with my cat type of jokes. Either way, it was fine. I surprisingly wasn't nervous, but that's probably because I bombed so bad the first time I knew nothing could get worse. I've been writing most of today. I started writing a script for a web series I'm working on with Ellyse, and I also almost finished an original TV show pilot. Some friends and I from the bay started thinking of ideas for a show we want to create based around a call center start up in SF. So it's been fun writing that as well (Even though Luke and Shay have been slacking and haven't written shit). There are a lot of things you hear about LA that I didn't think were true in the beginning. I mean, one thing I kept hearing was that everyone here is flakey. I thought, not everyone can be flakey. You can't group people into the same category without having known those people. Wrong. It's true. 98% of people here are flakey. It's hard to meet new people or do a lot of new things since people back out often and I don't have a car yet to do a ton of exploring on my own. I can't really walk places like I could in SF, one because it's way too hot, but two because everything is so spread out I don't get anywhere interesting. I just end up at various coffee shops. The positive from this, is you really learn to discover yourself all over again and be as independent as possible. As many buds as I have out here, I don't trust anyone but myself.. in the sense of relying on others. If that makes sense. I've been productive though, lots of writing and ideas coming through. I've also had time to explore other series which helps with my writing as well. I can see different dynamics of scripts according to whats popular out there right now. So that is a plus. (11.22.63...it's on Hulu..watch it). It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia has been playing constantly. I can't really sleep though. I can't fall asleep till like 3 AM most of the time, and wont wake up till 1PM. Job hunting is boring. Everyone is at work and I am just banging my head against a wall with boredom and heat (my apartment does not have AC so it's just a dungeon in here). What does it mean if every slow song you hear you think of the same person. That's a real question. I can't tell if I'm falling for this person or already have or what the fuck is going on. I don't really want to though. I can already tell when a situation will be no good for me, even though I want it to be. I'll be sure to post stand up on here next week. Ellyse didn't record it yesterday, but that's ok, I didn't want her to just yet. s00n! Okay, so this weekend was decent. I went to a bar that was built in the 30's and had three different floors. The third floor had a jazz band playing and everyone dancing knew how to swing. It was like going back in time, minus the low prices. Tip: Don't go to Clifton's Cafeteria unless you are ready to be hounded by men who want to dance. (it's not the worst thing, there are just a lot of persistent ones who wont take a hint).
I explored Echo Park Saturday night with my friend Tim. We wandered around and I ended up in a British Pub, of course... called the Lost Knight. I can't stay away after Mad Dog in SF drew me in. (thanks a lot Kitty). I caught a band playing and saw them advertising an open mic on Tuesday nights. So that's where I will be Tuesday. Today (Sunday), Jillian took me on a hike. She told me there was only one hill so I agreed to go. What she failed to tell me is that the hill was one big, never ending hill all the way to the top. I didn't bring a water bottle, so I seriously considered getting on my knees and drinking from someones hose. I got to see the Hollywood sign, but all I can think of when I see it is "how many people died trying to get here?". Totally mundane, I know, but it's true. Everyone thinks Hollywood is the American dream. It sounds more like a fuckin' nightmare. I kinda had to force myself to get out this weekend. I wanted to stay in and keep watching 11.22.23 (which by the way, is fucking amazing. you HAVE to watch this, it's on Hulu), butttt I knew I should get out of here. The more I get out, the more I realize I'm not in San Francisco anymore. Some days I wish I could click my shiny red heels together and go back, but if you knew me, you know I wouldn't be caught dead in anything shiny.. or heels, so I will suck it up and stick it out. Some times I think the only thing making me ok with being here is a Taylor Swift song. I can't be the only one who listens to T Swift and is like "ok fine, I can do anything". Well, maybe the only 24 year old, but still. It took time to get there, because at first her music had me missing a boy I never dated (or met). and I'm gay. but NOW, a totally different ball park. She may dance like a praying mantis, but homegirl releases banger after banger. Me and my roommate and Jillian decided to work on a web series as well. We have some good ideas going so I'm pretty excited to see where that goes. Oh, and my interview with Luma was decent, It was over Skype because their HQ is in Melbourne, Australia. The connection was shit so it was hard to hear each other. But either way, they were nice people to chat with. At this point in time, it's flattering I even get selected to interview at such wonderful places. One of the most important people in my life is from Melbourne, so it's nice to see and hear pieces of her home in my day to day life through other mediums that aren't, ya know, her. On a side note, I still can't do an Aussie accent for shit. It just sounds like a drunk British girl (on a good day). I'll record some stand up and put it here when I have it ready. I am trying to get into volunteering opportunities as well at a center for sexual abuse victims on the first response team. I am also going to pick up guitar and scratch this musical itch I have... In the meantime, I will be listening to Taylor Swift, alone, in my bed. aaaaand that's perfectly fine with me. |